Hi folks, Chloe Maleski, Board Certified Health Coach, is here to answer your questions about patience and confidence building. Struggling to stay the course for the long term? Feeling insecure about your wellness choices? We are here with a backup! Do you have a question for our health coaches? Leave it below in the comments or more in the Mark’s Daily Apple Facebook Group.
Sandra asked:
“This may be off topic, but do you have any tips for cultivating patience? I struggle with this when it comes to seeing changes from training (muscle tone, strength, etc.) and in all other areas. I don’t like to wait and find myself irritated by how long it takes to see results.
That’s not off topic at all, Sandra! As a coach, I work with athletes and others looking to get in shape and stay in shape. Whether it’s training or eat primary and living, meaningful change usually takes commitment, perseverance, patience, and time.
This is especially true when it comes to lasting change, rather than a one-time victory or achievement.
I realize that “waiting” is not the most fun or exciting part of change efforts! One way I like to reframe it is to think of patience as powerful rather than passive.
This change in storytelling reminds us that we do tremendous and important work in every step, every workout, every meal, day after day. Over time, the daily disciplines create a stronger and deeper foundation. When the results come – and they will! – they are real and have this foundation to stand on.
In today’s world things tend to move fast and we are bombarded with promises of new ‘fixes’ and ‘quick fixes’. In truth, the actual solutions are often quite simple (and not even that surprising).
The 10 primordial basic laws, for example, are guidelines that align with our very biology and evolution (long, slow, patient). However, putting them into practice is quite another thing. Not that it has to be difficult, it’s not! But their impact comes from being consistent over time, rather than doing them for a day or a week.
Most of us have taken many years, if not decades, to get to where we are when it comes to food, movement, lifestyle, and health. Changing any or all of these significantly takes at least 21-30 days before actually showing up for process.
Typically, patience lags halfway through any challenge, plan, or program. This is the perfect time to recommit to your “why”, read some achievements to find inspiration and lean on a like-minded community or coach. It can boost your confidence in the process and remind you why you’re making the effort!
Show up, be there
Another thing I will mention comes from my personal practice and how I have cultivated patience in aptitude and life in general: whatever I do, I show myself fully, without focusing on the results.
By prioritizing presence over results, I’m able to see every moment and experience as different and new (even if I’m doing the exact same workout or race, completing the exact same morning or evening routine , etc.).
Every moment is unique, and we are a little different every day. This includes how we experience the seemingly repetitive things that add up to wellness and fitness over time.
The advantages of this reframing? Good…
First of all, it reduces boredom! The most ordinary things, done with presence, precision and care, stop feeling so ordinary (at least most of the time).
Second, it requires a unique task. It’s one of the best ways I know to counter the feelings of overwhelm or anxiety. Perhaps counterintuitively, it also helps “slow down time”, helping us get more done with less stress or urgency, fewer mistakes, and less carelessness that we’ll need to clean up later. .
Third, it brings better results! Yes, we are moving away from results and focusing on presence and process. But it turns out that it brings more of the results we want! Part of that is because we get the most impact when we show up at 100%. Another part is that we are much more likely to make supportive choices when we are fully present with what we do and feel now rather than focusing on later.
For me, showing myself fully for everything, including those that seem small and repetitive, is about going further and building a more powerful and lasting foundation. This, much more than speed or casting a wider net, feels more meaningful and impactful.
All to say: Look at presence and look at process. It might not be the most exciting answer, but I promise you it will bring epic changes.
Daniel asked:
“I want to be the kind of person who has confidence in my body and in my life. I know it’s vague, but how do you really recognize who you are as a coach and someone who chooses to eat and live healthy? When I’m with family or friends who aren’t into paleo or wellness, I want to be strong and safe instead of making excuses or backing down.
I love this question, Daniel. I can assure you that you are not alone asking for it or struggling with confidence when it comes to food, wellness or anything else.
A simple exercise that I use with framing customers goes this way:
Draw a large circle with your name in the middle. Inside this circle, write down anything that makes you feel good that is NOT related to what you feel like insecurity or lack of confidence. It can be things you love, characteristics of yourself, movies, music, friends, family, sunsets, or anything that makes you feel GOOD.
During times when you feel less confident, come back to this circle to remind yourself of the whole person that you are.
It’s also a reminder that you are more than what you do or say or even how you eat and stay healthy.. You are a whole person and you cannot be locked up. Focus on the elements of your “circle of trust” in times when you could use a nudge…or could offer yourself grace and compassion.
To answer your question from another angle: Eating and living healthy is one of the most powerful confidence boosters I know!
Although change takes time, it also adds up. With each day or week of Primal Eating, healthy movementand other supportive choices, you will likely feel better and more secure in your chosen path and in your body and mind.
Part of this stems from the very tangible physical results you are likely to see. Desired weight changes Where body composition, for example. Or move unnecessary patterns eating emotionally or stupid snacking. Or any number of other welcome health and wellness changes (as illustrated beautifully in Overarching Success Stories). When we feel and look healthier, it’s attractive, magnetic and energizing!
This also brings us back to Sandra’s question, above. When we choose to draw a line in the sand and truly commit to something that supports us – bringing our presence, persistence, and patience – we gain strength, stability, and confidence as a result.
These “scaleless gains” contribute to a kind of calm inner confidence that doesn’t require external validation or shouting about it. It’s just. And not only does it feel good, but it impacts how others see us, interact with us, and respond to us.
Look, we often know what to eat and what to do to feel healthier (or, given the right resourcescan learn quite quickly).
But the kinds of questions and qualities we explored today – patience, presence, confidence, feeling safe – have a HUGE impact on whether we actually do the thing and get meaningful, lasting results.
If you are struggling in these areas, welcome to the club! It’s part of being human. But as a coach and as someone committed to continuous self-exploration and growth, I guarantee that we can develop these qualities with time and practice.
If you’re looking for an extra layer of motivation, inspiration, accountability and support, coaches are perfect for that. We’re not just here to tell you “what to eat” or “how to move”. We’re here to help you develop the characteristics, skills and confidence to do what makes you feel better…and keep doing it. Visit monprimalcoach.com to learn more and get started.
Do you have any confidence-building strategies to share? Or tips for cultivating patience? Inspire others and ask more questions for me in the comments!
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